How can you lose eloquence that you never had? My father called me demure once, and I was flattered. Then I laughed at the absurdity of that notion, because demure and I are are two puzzle pieces that will never quite fit. Or maybe we will. Fuck I’m rambling. Goodnight.
This may sound stupid.. but I try not to think. Because I know once I start, the floodgates open and every thought that I’ve ever suppressed will come rushing out. And suddenly my mind is plagued with questions and doubt and uncertainties and what ifs and what was and whys and maybes and I just can’t. get it. to stop. I’ve never been the girl to succumb to defeat, but there are more days than I can count when crying seems the most appealing course of action because there’s something comforting in the familiar feeling of tightness building in my chest.
“You are not IN the universe, you ARE the universe, an intrinsic part of it. Ultimately you are not a person, but a focal point where the universe is becoming conscious of itself. What an amazing miracle.”